Mother F***in' Passwords!!

Everybody's got them...even if you don't know it. Everything you wanna do on the Internet or at most jobs requires you to know a password. Working in the IT dept. requires knowing an almost infinite number of passwords. So, if you think you've got it bad... These are all the unique passwords I needs to remember. Each account may be used for more than one system. This is what happens when a company that acquired multiple other companies w/ their own IT dept. gets taken over by another company with its own multiple IT dept.

...Friggin' Mayhem!!

1. Personal domain login for the company I work for
2. Personal domain login for the company that bought the company I work for
3. Local admin account for my PC
4. Power user account for all PCs on the North American domain
5. Power user account for all PCs on the Corporate domain
6. Power user account login to the Novell Domain.
7. Power user account login to the Windows Domain.
8. Power user account login to each of the other Windows Domains we have for whatever reason.
9. Power user account login to the UNIX Network.
10. Power user account for local workstations imaged prior to 2004 @ the company I work for
11. Power user account for local workstations imaged since 2004 @ the company I work for
12. Power user account for local workstations images at any other site prior to 2004
13. Power user account for local workstations images at any other site since 2004
14. Power user account for local workstations that belong to the company that bought the company I work for
15. Power user account for local workstations that belong to a company that the company I work for bought
16. Power user account for local workstations that belong to another company that the company I work for bought
17. Remedy
18. Internet
19. Intranet for the company I work for
20. Intranet for the company that bought out the company I work for.
21. - 26. All the damn IBM AS400 boxes
27. - 32. All the damn Cullinet boxes
33. & 34. ProE / ProIntralink
35. - 37. Groupwise, Outlook AND Notes
38. -45. All the Oracle Databases
45. - 55. Everything "SAP"
55. - ∞. The entire array of in-house "home-grown" applications designed for the company I work for, the ones designed for the companies the company I work for bought, the ones that were designed for the company that bought the company I work for and the ones that were designed for all the other companies that were bought by the company that bought the company I work for.

On top of all that, most of these then have a damn Europe, Asia and Middle East iteration.

This does not include the pile of Internet email, store, community, etc. logins and all the pwds for my home network...

To top it all off, most of these passwords are required to be reset or changed every 30-90 days or so. So just as I'm getting used to the passwords, I gotta change them again.

To paraphrase Samuel L. Jackson: "I'm tired of all these MotherF***in' passwords!!!"

I've tried to keep them all the same. I really have, but some have requirements that don't fit the password I'm using. Either mine is too complex, not complex enough, too long, too short. Whatever. It's just impossible.

I've started doing something that I swore I would never do - because I'm paranoid. I've started clicking that "remember me" check box you see on most Internet login pages. I've been using Firefox's password remember tool set w/ a Master password, but that just wasn't enough for me to keep up. I just don't visit most of these pages enough to remember the password myself.

There are just so many. I'm starting to lose control of them. So, I'd like to offer 3 simple hints to help keep your passwords safe, easy and manageable.

1. Keep it simple (but not too simple) - The more complex you make the password the less likely you are to remember it. However, the simpler it is the easier it is for someone else to guess. Find a balance. Your dog's name is not secure enough, but you'll probably never remember something as complex as Pi to the 24th position.

2. Learn Alternate Character Spelling - For instance, the "@" symbol can replace the lowercase letter "a". The number "3" can replace a capital "E". To make it more complicated you can come up with your own personal system, but here are some of the more obvious ones:
3 = E
! = i
@ = a
# = H
$ = S

3. Find a Theme - Most passwords require a certain level of complexity. Usually this means you need a mix of numbers and letters(alphanumeric) and a mix of Upper and lower case (mixed case). Keep this in mind when considering a theme. For instance, if you love Baseball, try keeping all passwords related to one team and that team's stats. If you like a particular band, try using song titles and track lengths. For example: R!pk!N431 (Cal Ripkin / 431 home runs). You get the idea.

Just be sure you know how jealous I am. Make sure you appreciate the fact that you don't work in the IT Dept and only have to know 5 or 6 different passwords.

Lucky.